🎇 New Year, Frightened Me

It’s always said that every new year brings a “clean slate” of sorts, and I guess I’ve kind of agreed with that. This new year feels different, though, and I know it’s because of the impending fascist takeover of our government.

I know I’m not the only one going through what I can only call feelings about what’s to come. I also know that I’m not in as much danger as many other people. The fear I’m feeling is ever-present nonetheless. It fuels my anxiety to what can only be called astronomical levels, and as much as I try to lessen that, very few things seem to work in any consistent manner.

Bad things are coming. Hard times are coming. So much is unknown, yet so much is what we’ve seen before throughout history — and yet, we never learn. It’s truly frightening. Some days, it’s paralyzing. On other days, I find it difficult to find reasons to go on. Everything just feels really hard. So much harder than any other time in my recent memory. And I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t have me wondering whether or not I’ll be able to recover from whatever this weird mix of fear and anxiety is.

I truly want to believe that 2025 will be a good year, but it feels nearly impossible. It many ways, it just feels…wrong. Maybe things won’t be as bad as we all know they will be, but to think that way feels naive.

2025 isn’t going to be the year I thought it would be just a short few months ago. Maybe it’s time to come to terms with that and prepare myself for what’s coming. As much as one can prepare, anyway.