🛫 Vacations With Dad

I come from a big family — I’m the oldest of seven kids. For many years, I’d always gotten along better with my dad. I felt that he actually listened to me and cared about what I had to say. He offered reassurance when I needed it and was slow to pass judgement. In 2008 and 2009, we went on three separate vacations together, just the two of us with no major planning.

In early 2008, we flew out to Boston so I could check out some campuses for graduate school. We left on a Thursday an d came home on a Sunday which may not seem like a lot of time, but it was so much fun. We made sure to visit Cheers as that was — and still is — my favorite TV show. The UMass-Boston campus was beautiful despite the rainy weather, and I left the city with an inkling that perhaps I belonged there. I knew I’d go back again.

In early 2009, we flew out to Seattle with loose plans to visit my grandpa (my dad’s dad). In the days before our trip, the city has gotten a large amount of snow and rain. Then the snow melted, causing a good amount of flooding. We assumed we’d be okay once we got there, and for the most part, we were.

We did the normal tourist things — visited the Space Needle, Pike Place Market, and drank copious amounts of coffee. My grandpa met us in the city and took us to see Mt. Rainer, which was beautiful. We weren’t able to get too far, as most of the roads and paths were still closed due to flooding and such. On the way back to my grandpa’s house in Shelton, we watched as a road washed away in front of us, forcing us to turn around and drive around the sound through Tacoma and other areas to get to his house. I fell in love with the city then, and I still love it to this day.

In May 2009, my dad and I flew back out to Boston. This trip was devoted to experiencing as much as we could while again checking out campuses. We’d be in the city for my birthday, and I was quite excited about that.

We visited UMass-Boston again and checked out Boston College, too. We did some shopping at Faneuil Hall, ate dinner at Cheers, toured the USS Constitution, visited Paul Revere’s house, and went to a Red Sox game at Fenway. We even drove up to Cape Cod twice, which was just absolutely breathtaking. We spent five days in the city and squeezed as much as we could into every single day — and there was still so much that we didn’t’t get to see and do.

That was my last trip with my dad. He didn’t pass away or anything of the sort. We just began to see each other much less. I came out in 2013, and it seemed to bother him, even though he swore he was okay with it. Two years after that, my youngest sister — who is his favorite — had her son. After that, it was almost as though I ceased to exist.

I see him now and again when I go back to my hometown. Occasionally, I’ll have dinner with my parents. Sometimes we’ll just sit around and talk. But I really miss those trips with my dad. I miss the closeness we shared then.

I don’t know if I’ll ever experience that again, and even though holding onto hope is painful these days, I hold onto it anyway. Because despite the political climate, differing beliefs, and the general state of the world as a whole, I guess I still hope that someday we’ll be close like that again.